I have to confess..

I am shattered. Hollow. Barely breathing. I am nothing. I drown in fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of losing myself. Fear they will see my weakness. See through me. See the ruin beneath my skin. I fear closeness. I fear the weight of my own touch. I fear I will break, Or worse— I will break someone else. I am lost. Time slips through my fingers. Dreams collapse into dust. I see no reason to fight. No purpose. No escape. Every choice is a wound. Every thought, a razor’s edge. The truth haunts me— I am not perfect. I never was. I never will be. I fear I will never rise. I fear I will never love. I fear I will never heal. I fear I will never be whole. I fear the past will keep me. I fear the future will reject me. I fear I will disappear. Forever. Alone. Forever. Unloved. Forever. Hopeless. Forever. A stranger to myself. Forever. A memory to someone else. Forever.

This is no test..